When Girls Become Women
Coming of age: Islamic Puberty and Health Workshop
Allah Ta`ala says in the holy Quran,
وَإِذَا بَلَغَ الْأَطْفَالُ مِنْكُمُ الْحُلُمَ فَلْيَسْتَأْذِنُوا كَمَا اسْتَأْذَنَ الَّذِينَ مِنْ قَبْلِهِمْ ۚ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ آيَاتِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ
And when the children among you have attained to puberty, let them seek permission as those before them sought permission; thus does Allah make clear to you His communications, and Allah is knowing, Wise.
Definition of Puberty:
The process of physical changes by which a child's body matures into an adult body capable of getting married, being responsible and taking on adult roles and responsibilities. It is initiated by hormonal signals from the brain to the gonads; the ovaries in a girl, the testes in a boy. In response to the signals, the gonads produce hormones that stimulate an interest in the opposite gender and the growth, function, and transformation of the brain, bones, muscle, blood, skin, hair and other important organs responsible for family relationships.
Physical growth—height and weight—accelerates in the first half of puberty and is completed when the child has developed an adult body.
The Signs of Puberty are Three:
- Reaching the age of 15 (lunar) years for a male or a female.
- Experiencing a wet dream by a boy or girl who is 9 year old or older.
3. The coming of a woman monthly cycle once she is 9 year old or older.
Girls’ Physical Changes:
- Growth spurts
- Development of breast
- Broadening of hips
- Body odour
- Pimples or facial breakouts
- Hair growth in pubic area and underarm area
- Monthly Cycles
Girls’ Emotional Changes:
- Interest in the opposite gender
- Mood changes
- Anxiety or excitement about the changes she's going through
- Less talkative and open with parents
- Shy, nervousness around the opposite gender, or being flirtatious
Stages of Puberty:
Here's a quick look at how it works. Usually after a girl's 8th birthday or after a boy turns 9 or 10, puberty begins when an area of the brain called the hypothalamus starts to release gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH). When GnRH travels to the pituitary gland (a small gland under the brain that produces hormones that control other glands throughout the body), it releases two more puberty hormones — luteinising hormone (LH) and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH).
What happens next depends on gender:
- Boys: Hormones travel through the bloodstream to the testes (testicles) and give the signal to begin production of sperm and the hormone testosterone.
- Girls: Hormones go to the ovaries (the two oval-shaped organs that lie to the right and left of the uterus) and trigger the maturation and release of eggs and the production of the hormone estrogen, which matures a female's body and prepares her for pregnancy.
At about the same time, the adrenal glands of both boys and girls begin to produce a group of hormones called adrenal androgens. These hormones stimulate the growth of pubic and underarm hair in both sexes. Estrogen in a female and Testosterone in a male.
What does reaching puberty mean spiritually?
It means that you are legally responsible for everything you say and do, the good and the bad. Allah places two angels on your shoulders, Raqib and `Atid, who follow you everywhere you go, writing down everything you do. Allah Ta`ala says,
إِذْ يَتَلَقَّى الْمُتَلَقِّيَانِ عَنِ الْيَمِينِ وَعَنِ الشِّمَالِ قَعِيدٌ ﴿١٧﴾ مَا يَلْفِظُ مِنْ قَوْلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيد ﴿١٨
Two recording (angels), at right and at left, are constantly recording. Not a word does he utter but there is a sentinel by him, ready (to note it).
The Cleanliness of the Body: It is sunnah
- To trim the fingernails and toenails,
- To clip moustache to the extent that the pink of the upper lip is visible, it should not be plucked or shaved
- To pluck (or to shave) the hair of the underarms and nostrils, and to shave the pubic hair
- Circumcision
Clean healthy body
- Importance of washing regularly - New bodily odours
- Proper use of deodorant
- Changing ones underwear regularly
- Importance of not offending people with a smelly body
Importance of using the toilet properly.
- Cleaning ones self with water
- Odd number of tissues
- Washing after urinating
- Harsh punishment for not being clean with urinating
The ʿAwrah (Private parts) :
1. The ʿawrah of a woman generally is the whole body.
َََُُْْ'Abd al-Rahman, the son of Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, reported from his father: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: A man should not see the private parts of another man, and a woman should not see the private parts of another woman, and a man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering.
Ahadith On Modesty:
Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) passed by a man of the Ansar who was admonishing his brother regarding shyness. Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Leave him alone, for modesty is a part of Iman.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Abu Mas`ud Al-Ansari (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "One of the admonitions of the previous Prophets which has been conveyed to people is that if you have no modesty, you can do whatever you like.'' [Al-Bukhari].
Ayahs and Ahadiths On Gender Relations:
Allah Most High says: “And they (i.e. the servants of Allah) do not commit zina (fornication)- And whoever does this shall meet a full penalty. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace.”
Allah Most High says: ‘And We sent Lot as a Messenger: Remember that he said to his people, "Have you become so shameless that you commit such indecent acts as no one has committed before you in the world? You gratify your lust with men instead of women: indeed you are a people who transgress the limits!" . . . And We rained upon his people; then behold what happened in the end to the guilty ones!’
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) explained: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch." (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami, 5045).
The saying of `A’ishah, “No, by Allah, the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman …”
Umaymah bint Raqeeqah said: 'The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "I do not shake hands with women (not permissible to touch).” (An-Nasaai, #4181 and Ibn Majah, #2874)
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." (Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab, Tirmidhi transmitted it as authentic)
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported as having said: “And the eyes commit zina (fornication). Their zina is gazing.”
He (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded Ali said: “Ali! Do not look once after another, for the first look is for you (since it happens accidentally) while the second is against you.”
It was narrated by Jaabir: "The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: 'There is nothing I fear for my ummah more than the deed of the people of Lot.’” (Tirmidhi 1457)
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed effeminate men; those men who are in the similitude (assume the manners of women) and those women who assume the manners of men, and he said, "Turn them out of your houses." The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) turned out such-and-such man, and 'Umar turned out such-and-such woman. (Sahih Bukhari 7:72:774)
We also have course on Keen on Deen for pre pubescent and post pubescent girl to learn about the changes their minds will go though, their emotions, physical and religious changes. This course contains over 4 hours of videos, pictures, diagrams, aayaat of the Qur'aan and Hadeeths from the messenger of Allaah.
